nerdy.mango A Blog By Milk & Mango

The comic starts with both Deadpool and Gambit outside of a random warehouse waiting for Chalmers to open the gate, and while they’re waiting they argue over whether or not they trust each other and the “plausibility” that one would double-cross the other. The argument ends with them both saying, very adamantly, that they trust one another (for some reason I’m not convinced). When they enter the warehouse, the always suspicious Deadpool says, “Does this look like the last warehouse to you? The one with all the double-crossing and paranoia?” to which Gambit responds, “All warehouses look the same.” Deadpool couldn’t help but make a black joke, so he did: “What? Whoa. Really? That seems not okay to say.” His inner voice then congratulates him for “[finally calling] that Cis-Het Cajun prettyboi out on his warehouse privilege.”

Next Chalmers tells them that they would need to ditch the costumes, because the job would require them to be incognito, but Gambit questions the “plausibility” of the plan saying that Deadpool’s face, without a mask, looks like a “fried thumb” (which is true). Deadpool is deeply offended by being called a fried thumb, and, ironically, has a conversation with his own thumb, just to further express how hurt he is. He then assures Gambit that he would be able to go incognito, because he has a holographic image inducer, but he only uses it to put a mustache on his face, making himself look like a burn victim with a full mustache, calling himself Steve Zahn (he thinks he looks like Steve Zahn from Treme). But, before the “caper” even starts Gambit isn’t sure if he wants to take the job, so, to convince him, Chalmers throws a briefcase with 1.2 million dollars, and once Deadpool saw the money all of his aforementioned suspicion was gone and he answered yes, to Chalmers’ request, for himself and the still skeptical Gambit. Then for some reason Deadpool turns into Scrooge McDuck and dives into a room of money. And Chalmers proceeded to tell them the plan.

Chalmers’ plan seemed simple enough. Deadpool and Gambit would be undercover, following a businessman named Peng Lai, trying to lift all five finger prints from his right hand so that Chalmers would be able to break into his safe and steal the the Dragon’s Tongue, a priceless relic. The job also required them to travel to travel to New Orleans, “Remy’s old stomping grounds.” And Gambit replies, “People think I’m from New Orleans, but I’m Cajun. I’m from Acadia.” Then, fed up with origin stories just as much as we are, Deadpool interrupts Gambit and tells him, “You know your movie’s never coming out.” And tells him that he knows from experience how hard it is to get a solo movie if your name doesn’t rhyme with “Polverine.” Deapool finishes by telling Gambit, “Buddy, you’re not even getting a second draft” (which is sad but true).

The job gets turns out to be more difficult than they expected, when many of the finger print scans they send to Chalmers are incomplete and unusable, and Peng Lai is constantly moving from place to place. Gambit comes up the idea to take Peng to a club and have Deadpool challenge him to a drinking match and assumes that he will win, because he has a “hea- -a drinking factor.” After having 20 drinks, Peng Lei is unfazed, but he still left his finger prints on the glass he was using, so Deadpool got what he needed and threw the glass to Gambit, who he assumed was paying attention, to send the prints to Chalmers, but the glass hits the floor and breaks, because Gambit is distracted by a woman (who of course had a white streak in her her hair, because Gambit definitely has a type). Deadpool then questions whether he could trust Gambit to finish the job, and Gmabit comes up the an idea to poison Lai at a crawfish broil joint. This plan was also a failure, and Lai decided to disrupt a fight club style match and fight both contenders (he probably could’ve won if Deadpool and Gambit didn’t jump in). Then Gambit comes up with another plan to knock Lai out, using a potion created by a voodoo, but this plan like the others failed, and Lai ends up going back to the fight club to start a royal rumble, with out either Deadpool or Gambit noticing. Gambit then goes back to the fight club determined to prove to Deadpool that he is in fact focussed on finishing the job. Deadpool on the other hand follows the track he planted on Chalmers and finds him in a room with the Dragon’s Tongue already in his possession.

Just as Deadpool enters the room through the window, 3 ninjas also enter the room looking to take back the Dragon’s Tongue from Chalmers and kill him. Deadpool saves him and gives the ninjas the holographic image disguised as the Dragon’s Tongue. The ninjas then leave and now Deadpool and Chalmers are all alone. Chalmers explains that the Dragons’s Tongue is a vitality talisman and he needed it, because he has cancer and wants to make things right with his wife before he die (or so he says). The sometimes cautious Deadpool wants to see proof and takes him to his house to get it. It appears that Chalmers is telling the truth, and Deeadpool apologizes for not believing him before. Deadpool nave spoken to soon when Chalmers suddenly disappears, and Peng Lai enters the house, angry. Deadpool, who assumed that Lai received his vitality from the Dragon’s Tongue, tells Peng Lai that he would be able kill him quickly and easily, but after Lai tells him who he really is, the Fat Cobra, and that he even beat Iron Fist in the past, Deadpool realized that he’s F&%KED!

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