Review: Deadpool V Gambit #2

The comic starts with both Deadpool and Gambit outside of a random warehouse waiting for Chalmers to open the gate, and while they’re waiting they argue over whether or not they trust each other and the “plausibility” that one would double-cross the other. The argument ends with them both saying, very adamantly, that they trust one another (for some reason I’m not convinced). When they enter the warehouse, the always suspicious Deadpool says, “Does this look like the last warehouse to you? The one with all the double-crossing and paranoia?” to which Gambit responds, “All warehouses look the same.” Deadpool couldn’t help but make a black joke, so he did: “What? Whoa. Really? That seems not okay to say.” His inner voice then congratulates him for “[finally calling] that Cis-Het Cajun prettyboi out on his warehouse privilege.” 

Next Chalmers tells them that they would need to ditch the costumes, because the job would require them to be incognito, but Gambit questions the “plausibility” of the plan saying that Deadpool’s face, without a mask, looks like a “fried thumb” (which is true). Deadpool is deeply offended by being called a fried thumb, and, ironically, has a conversation with his own thumb, just to further express how hurt he is. He then assures Gambit that he would be able to go incognito, because he has a holographic image inducer, but he only uses it to put a mustache on his face, making himself look like a burn victim with a full mustache, calling himself Steve Zahn (he thinks he looks like Steve Zahn from Treme). But, before the “caper” even starts Gambit isn’t sure if he wants to take the job, so, to convince him, Chalmers throws a briefcase with 1.2 million dollars, and once Deadpool saw the money all of his aforementioned suspicion was gone and he answered yes, to Chalmers’ request, for himself and the still skeptical Gambit. Then for some reason Deadpool turns into Scrooge McDuck and dives into a room of money. And Chalmers proceeded to tell them the plan.

Chalmers’ plan seemed simple enough. Deadpool and Gambit would be undercover, following a businessman named Peng Lai, trying to lift all five finger prints from his right hand so that Chalmers would be able to break into his safe and steal the the Dragon’s Tongue, a priceless relic. The job also required them to travel to travel to New Orleans, “Remy’s old stomping grounds.” And Gambit replies, “People think I’m from New Orleans, but I’m Cajun. I’m from Acadia.” Then, fed up with origin stories just as much as we are, Deadpool interrupts Gambit and tells him, “You know your movie’s never coming out.” And tells him that he knows from experience how hard it is to get a solo movie if your name doesn’t rhyme with “Polverine.” Deapool finishes by telling Gambit, “Buddy, you’re not even getting a second draft” (which is sad but true).

The job gets turns out to be more difficult than they expected, when many of the finger print scans they send to Chalmers are incomplete and unusable, and Peng Lai is constantly moving from place to place. Gambit comes up the idea to take Peng to a club and have Deadpool challenge him to a drinking match and assumes that he will win, because he has a “hea- -a drinking factor.” After having 20 drinks, Peng Lei is unfazed, but he still left his finger prints on the glass he was using, so Deadpool got what he needed and threw the glass to Gambit, who he assumed was paying attention, to send the prints to Chalmers, but the glass hits the floor and breaks, because Gambit is distracted by a woman (who of course had a white streak in her her hair, because Gambit definitely has a type). Deadpool then questions whether he could trust Gambit to finish the job, and Gmabit comes up the an idea to poison Lai at a crawfish broil joint. This plan was also a failure, and Lai decided to disrupt a fight club style match and fight both contenders (he probably could’ve won if Deadpool and Gambit didn’t jump in). Then Gambit comes up with another plan to knock Lai out, using a potion created by a voodoo, but this plan like the others failed, and Lai ends up going back to the fight club to start a royal rumble, with out either Deadpool or Gambit noticing. Gambit then goes back to the fight club determined to prove to Deadpool that he is in fact focussed on finishing the job. Deadpool on the other hand follows the track he planted on Chalmers and finds him in a room with the Dragon’s Tongue already in his possession.

Just as Deadpool enters the room through the window, 3 ninjas also enter the room looking to take back the Dragon’s Tongue from Chalmers and kill him. Deadpool saves him and gives the ninjas the holographic image disguised as the Dragon’s Tongue. The ninjas then leave and now Deadpool and Chalmers are all alone. Chalmers explains that the Dragons’s Tongue is a vitality talisman and he needed it, because he has cancer and wants to make things right with his wife before he die (or so he says). The sometimes cautious Deadpool wants to see proof and takes him to his house to get it. It appears that Chalmers is telling the truth, and Deeadpool apologizes for not believing him before. Deadpool nave spoken to soon when Chalmers suddenly disappears, and Peng Lai enters the house, angry. Deadpool, who assumed that Lai received his vitality from the Dragon’s Tongue, tells Peng Lai that he would be able kill him quickly and easily, but after Lai tells him who he really is, the Fat Cobra, and that he even beat Iron Fist in the past, Deadpool realized that he’s F&%KED! 

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Review: Deadpool v Gambit #1

The Deadpool v Gambit mini-series kicked off yesterday, and it had all the elements of a classic "Deadpool vs." comic. It starts out with Deadpool waiting in line for coffee, at Work Juice, of course talking to himself, making a reference to something of cultural importance. This time he was muttering to himself about how Sartre, a French philosopher and playwright, was wrong when he said, "hell is other people," but Deadpool continues by saying, "Hell is the best coffee in town being featured in 'Time Out New York... Because the lines are just... Wait! Sartre was right!" He kind of misinterpreted the famous quote by Jean Paul Sartre, but it is Deadpool, and the reference makes, because not everyone is going to know what the quote is really trying to say.

After Deadpool realizes that Sartre is right, Gambit, who is few spots in line ahead of Deeadpool, realizes that they are waiting in the same line and greets him. At this point it appears as though that thy are going to fight; Gambit charges his cards with kinetic energy, ready to throw them, and Deadpool reaches for his katana. But, instead of fighting they set the scene for flashback sequence, from the last time they saw each other. Deadpool starts it off by saying, "Last time [we saw each other] was that thing with Spider-Man and Daredevil, right?" The flashback begins with Spider-Man, in a button up shirt, pants, and sports jacket, with his "Spidey-Suit" and mask on underneath, in a museum looking at a clay-stone artifact, talking to a little girl about how he lives in the best city in the world, but never takes advantage of it.

Then at that moment he is hit in the head by one of Daredevil's batons, and Daredevil says, "Spider-Man, I am mad at you!" Then the "super-hero fight" begins and the fight takes them all through midtown, running into the Jade Dragons, a theatre where a rehearsal for a musical is taking place, and a hipster street market. And the whole time they were making witty remarks and observations. One of the funniest things they talked about was their own fight and how there seems to be so many "super-hero fights." At some point during the fight Daredevil says, "A lot of super-hero fights these days come down political or philosophical differences." And Spider-Man would later say in response, "Instead of talking, it's coming to blows." Later they would both make more witty observations and references about hipster diet restrictions and why they dislike musicals, but if I sat here and tried to tell you every joke they make I would be here forever.

The whole time I was reading this fight I am sitting there anticipating and waiting for Deadpool and Gambit to join the fight some how, but they never do, because (plot twist) they were pretending to be Spider-Man and Daredevil the entire time. After finding this out, I thought to myself, "Well, it was weird that Daredevil was contributing to the banter through out the fight," but at the time, because I assumed Deadpool was narrating and giving his own interpretation of the story, I did not even question it. 

Deadpool and Gambit were fighting as Spider-Man and Daredevil, because they were pulling a con for a guy named Chalmers and did not want to be recognized. Chalmers sold diamonds to criminal organizations, and through out the fight Deadpool and Gambit would break into the headquarters of these organizations and steal the diamonds back, mid-fight. Then at the end of the con, when they were celebrating and congratulating each other, Gambit notices that there is a gun taped underneath the table and in response to Deadpool asking him why they do not team up more often, he says, "Because of the inevitable double cross..." A fight then breaks out where Deadpool and Gambit completely retrace their steps and at some point they realize that they were set up by Chalmers, who ended up making off with the entire score. 

Now the story comes back to the present where they both say how badly they want to take revenge on Chalmers, and seemingly out of nowhere Chalmers appears. The comic ends with all three of them sitting down drinking coffee, and Chalmers telling Deadpool and Gambit that he has another job for them, one that would be even better than the last.